As I started this week's bible study - a little late due to a hectic schedule and slow recovery from the flu last week, I did feel empowered. I had every intention of joining everyone on the FB page on Thursday. The week was going well. I was caught up with the reading and reflection questions. I had spent the evening at home on Tuesday and had successfully battled temptation to eat outside of my plan with prayer and walking away from the kitchen. Even after I weighed myself at home for the first time in months on Thursday morning things were going well. I am following a heart healthy eating plan and controlling portions by using Weight Watchers Points Plus program. Then time at home by myself again while my husband was working his part-time job. (We are both retired from our careers.) I binged on crackers with my tune salad.
I was so frustrated, but the idea that the Lord loves me anyway when I fail, that I don't have to perform to earn his love and attention was a comfort and got back on track on Friday. But I was too ashamed to join in with the FB meeting. The Holy Spirit is our "Empowerment" Coach. When I turn to Him - which I did on Tuesday and not on Thursday, I can do all things with His gentle guidance and encouragement. He will show me when I remember to stop and listen (and not let pride get in the way like I did when I ignored him on Thursday) how to battle the flesh and "the little devil whispering in my ear on my shoulder". It's very easy when you think you are empowered to fall into pride and try to do this without the help of Jesus. There is a thin line between pride and empowerment. Let me not fall into that trap, Jesus. I need your help and encouragement daily as I walk this walk of eating to live and not living to eat.